Dear Mr. Steven Mason,
Okay! Fess up buddy, what is it? Are you an alien or was it some strange bug that bit you or what? You're not normal. It's not fair to all those poor, human goalies out there that you keep blanking teams in your conference and have single-handedly become your team's post-season VIP ticket.
I mean I'm not complaining or anything, but you know you may want to tone down the super-heroics - that whole bout with 'mono' and those two losses vs. the Ducks and the Flames were a decent attempt at normalcy. So, I don't think anyone's too close to catching on, so feel free to make it #9 in Vancouver on Sunday; kick their asses and not just in order to close the gap they have on 5th in the West - I want to brag to all my Canucks-loving friends.
So far my post-season loyalties are looking pretty set since Ottawa is, oh, FOURTEEN points out of a spot (groan), the Pens are going to need their most recent burst of to last for the rest of the season in order to get and subsequently hang onto the #8 playoff spot in the east. So, go Columbus. You guys rock. And someone please send Filatov to see a new doctor so he can get over this stupid sinus infection and get called back up to Ohio for crying out loud.
MY Kryptonite, on the other hand is three letters - an airport code, in fact: JFK. It's trumped O'Hare and that horrible airport in Hamburg where I had to run through the airport with gun-toting German cops chasing me because I didn't have time to stop to explain to them in VERY broken German that I a) wasn't a terrorist and b) was going to miss my flight home to Canada if they didn't let me run full-out to a gate 40 gates away.
JFK has 7 bloody terminals. Last time I am ever flying in there. I'll take Laguardia any freaking day after that bloody mess of an international terminal. All I can say is thank goodness for Charleston's in Brooklyn or I may have lost my mind: nothing tops getting a free pizza when you buy a 3$ pint of beer.
Oh, and I love Kohl's. I wish we had them in Canada.