Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Pneumonic Playoff Plague

Most epic series of playoff hockey you think you'll ever watch:
Giants - Spokane
You said 'Bring It'; it was most certainly brought.

All the way into overtime.
Three times.


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First Intermission, Your Eyes Turn to Goo:
Tyler Johnson. Spokane homebrew. Watch for him on Draft Day.

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Longest game you ever watch in person:
Game 5

Preview of what it might be like to be a hockey mom...

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Most Junior Hockey You'll Ever Watch 2 Teams Play In Less than 100 hours:
274:32 minutes

Three games took them the duration of over four and a half regulation games.
(Even if you've screwed up the math a bit, that's WAY too long)


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Length of this series:
~543 minutes

Total Shots On Goal Through Games 5, 6 & 7:
265

Disgustingly Low number of Goals in Games 5, 6 & 7:
11


Things You Try Not To Think About:
1) Sexy & Dusty have a combined SV% of 0.959 through the last three games.
2) Tyson Sexsmith gets to add yet another shutout to that WHL record he holds.

3)
Dustin Tokarski will probably be starting between NHL pipes next October.

4) 11 goals in 275 minutes is a goal every 25 minutes.
5) 265 SOG in 275 minutes is... pretty simple math actually.
6) You're pretty sure Sexsmith's been wearing the same jersey since Game 5.

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Why you love being a Pens fan:
Another Clutch Player who wears #17.
He sets up the goal that wins the series.
Also has a kind of Brooks-Orpik-scary-eyes appeal.

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Guy You Feel Most Sorry For Tonight:
Hey Dustin, You busy next fall? We may have a job opening. Cheers, The Bolts

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Scariest Thing ShawTV Tells You All Evening:
Number of minutes Vancouver has had the lead in this series is...
A Big, Fat, Goose Egg.
Zero.
You're pretty sure they're on crack.
You check the game reports.
You wonder when being up 1-0 for 27 minutes in Game 1 stopped counting as 'having a lead'.

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Next time you'll see this display of affection:
WHL Western Conference Final against the Kelowna Rockets.

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Why You're Glad They Had Such a Bubonic-Plague-Level-SICK win% this season:
Games One & Two of the Third Round
Will Be In Your Backyard.


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Three Sweetest Words in the English Language This Week:

HOME. ICE. ADVANTAGE.

(The Sharks? you ask. Yes, still sore from 2007, thanks. The Ducks -minus Getzy- can die sweet, sad, first-round playoff-death for at least another decade before they're forgiven.)

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Thing You Most Want to See on May 24th: There is still hope!

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Biggest Reason You Wish TSN2 Was Part of Your Cable Package:

vs.

There is a new Franchise Stevie to cheer for and this time he's not playing for Detroit.

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Boys You Expect to Win Tonight
So You Can Have The Best Birthday Ever:

GO PENS!!!

LATE EDITS:

Times You Wish JStaal Was Less Hossa-Blond:



And the "Gung-HO Playoff Prep" Trophy Goes To:
Mase & Nashy & Co.

6 comments:

lauren said...

You're kinder than I am; I don't think I'll ever forgive Anaheim.

Fortunately I get FSN-Detroit, and I'm going to try to do some game recapping/notes. This may not go so well for the first couple of games because this is my exam week, but I'm going to do what I can.

mer said...

*falling prostrate at your feet*


I'll be streaming what I can. Or harassing the guy at the pub 200 metres from my place; I'm pretty sure they get TSN2.

It's gonna be a long, glorious week!

lauren said...

I don't know how much you saw of this game- I only saw the last ten minutes of the third- but it looks like experience won out over nerves tonight. Detroit may not have as much of a jump on Columbus for the rest of the series, especially for the games in Ohio. If nothing else, the shot count screwed Mason over.

mer said...

@deets - the wings were clipped in the first period. Columbus came out gun a-blazing. they just couldn't keep it up. next time though :)

regardless, i think it's going to be an interesting series...

lauren said...

It's going to be an epic series. I wouldn't be surprised if it went to seven games, especially with the injury issues Detroit has been having.

Are you watching the Anaheim/San Jose game right now? Talk about weird bounces!

mer said...

I don't want the Sucks unless I have some better reason than the Sharks... plus I get addicted to playoff series' - I'm trying to limit myself to two each round... Pens-Flyers and Detroit-Columbus are my picks this round.