Tuesday, 13 October 2015

Here goes... something?

My Sweetie has this funny thing he does: he doesn't make New Years resolutions on December 31st or January 1st, he does them in October, because that's when his birthday is.

This past weekend was Thanksgiving (in Canada, at least), and my Sweetie's parents gave me a birthday present because they realized they had to have missed it. Birthday presents five months after my birthday felt kind of funny, but in a nice you-really-didn't-have-to-do-this way. My birthday this year was very quiet; it's all I could handle. Over the past few months, my mental health has improved by leaps and bounds (even though it's still not great, I'm a good ways back from the edge I was flirting with a year ago).

I'm tempted to make some resolutions, even though I have neither my birthday nor New Years to hang them on.

I wrote a LOT in July and, while it felt good at the time, I burnt out FAST and spent the following two months in guilt-laced-writing-paralysis. My Sweetie has forbidden me from doing NaNoWriMo -which I've tried to do in the past- because he saw how deeply I can let myself dive into projects if I am allowed to, and how fast I burn out when I try to do it.  As a result, I'm now trying to work on projects for a few hours a day, every weekday, and spending the other half of the day either reading or doing other creative projects. (There's a sick part of me that wants to dive into a project so badly even though I know how bad it will be. Squashing that desire down is HARD, guys.)

So, my first resolution is to pace myself. I'm not great at this. I'm very dichotomous by nature: very all or nothing, very black and white.

My second resolution is to work on multiple projects simultaneously. I've got a novel that's been done for YEARS now. It's still not Done. I'm going to Done-ify it. I've got another story I am ACHING to write. A trilogy about a character from another story (spoiler alert: it's Anna, for those of you who read W2TBL). And I've got a third, completely different story that I'm baffled and overwhelmed by because I can't write in a way that I'm not comfortable and familiar with, but that just means that I'm forcing myself out of my comfort zone and that's a good sign. I hope that by working on all three, I will be better able to keep myself from being consumed by any single one of them.

I'm hoping these resolutions will help me achieve the VERY lofty goals I set for myself this year. (Spoiler: I'm not going to actually accomplish what I'd daydreamed I'd be able to, but I have a Must Do List and that's gonna get done, or else.)

So, here goes... something?


Susan said...

It is hard to pace yourself, I have that same issue sometimes. Don't burn out that wonderful creative spark you have, I look forward to reading your stuff for years and years!

Anonymous said...